You all know the story about the Cod Father only having been in the trade union movement for five minutes? No? Ok then, here we go.
About 15 years-ago, maybe longer. In the far-off days of the T&G and the Eddie McDermott reign of terror, we on the left were barely holding our own, on the then Region 1 Regional Committee.
Anyway, as luck would have it a geezer called Dave Reid, from McDermott's beloved CAT, had stood down as vice-chair of the Region. Get this, he'd been head hunted by BA and had turned Queens evidence by going over to the HR Dpt - this was the same lemon that McDermott had backed for chair some months earlier.
So, the vice-chair position was up for grabs, we had Johnnie Charles in the chair, and of course we were going for a win double.
At a clandestine meeting of the then very shadowy Broad Left, we had agreed to put a certain Brian Holmes up for the VC position. The following day, the firs of the RC, I was busy schmoozing those BL members who had missed our meeting, garnering votes for Bri.
The VBA (motor vehicle trade group) had a couple of squatters on the committee at the time. One came from Fords in Dagenham and the other from Vauxhalls in Luton. Both had retired having first taken redundancy. But for all that they were nominally BL.
When I approached these two Herberts putting forward the BL decision, they started moaning. They complained that they hadn't been asked. Which was because we hadn't, mainly because they never attended meetings nor answered their fucking phones.
But, not content with refusing the discipline, one of them, let's call him Pepe so as not to embarrass our erstwhile comrade, then said to me:
'Who is this Brian Holmes? He's only been around the union scene for five minutes..."
Well, as you'd expect I mustered up all my courage, and ran and told Brian what the nasty Pepe had said. Holmesey, in his inimitable way just said: "Oh yeh, is that what he said?" The meeting then started, and Brian lost the vote for VC by two votes; and that was that.
Or so it seemed.
The next morning Big Bri strolls in helloing here and there, slapping the odd back and generally spreading bonhomie. Going up to Pepe, and let's call the other lemon JJ for the sake of the story, he engages the pair in banter. As we all know Brian could charm a Tory out of Kensington and get him singing the Red Flag.
As the laughter grew and the two stooges warmed to the Cod Father's genial spiel, Brian pulled a book from his bag.
About 15 years-ago, maybe longer. In the far-off days of the T&G and the Eddie McDermott reign of terror, we on the left were barely holding our own, on the then Region 1 Regional Committee.
Anyway, as luck would have it a geezer called Dave Reid, from McDermott's beloved CAT, had stood down as vice-chair of the Region. Get this, he'd been head hunted by BA and had turned Queens evidence by going over to the HR Dpt - this was the same lemon that McDermott had backed for chair some months earlier.
So, the vice-chair position was up for grabs, we had Johnnie Charles in the chair, and of course we were going for a win double.
At a clandestine meeting of the then very shadowy Broad Left, we had agreed to put a certain Brian Holmes up for the VC position. The following day, the firs of the RC, I was busy schmoozing those BL members who had missed our meeting, garnering votes for Bri.
The VBA (motor vehicle trade group) had a couple of squatters on the committee at the time. One came from Fords in Dagenham and the other from Vauxhalls in Luton. Both had retired having first taken redundancy. But for all that they were nominally BL.
When I approached these two Herberts putting forward the BL decision, they started moaning. They complained that they hadn't been asked. Which was because we hadn't, mainly because they never attended meetings nor answered their fucking phones.
But, not content with refusing the discipline, one of them, let's call him Pepe so as not to embarrass our erstwhile comrade, then said to me:
'Who is this Brian Holmes? He's only been around the union scene for five minutes..."
Well, as you'd expect I mustered up all my courage, and ran and told Brian what the nasty Pepe had said. Holmesey, in his inimitable way just said: "Oh yeh, is that what he said?" The meeting then started, and Brian lost the vote for VC by two votes; and that was that.
Or so it seemed.
The next morning Big Bri strolls in helloing here and there, slapping the odd back and generally spreading bonhomie. Going up to Pepe, and let's call the other lemon JJ for the sake of the story, he engages the pair in banter. As we all know Brian could charm a Tory out of Kensington and get him singing the Red Flag.
As the laughter grew and the two stooges warmed to the Cod Father's genial spiel, Brian pulled a book from his bag.
 |
| Who's the bloke in the Versace lace shirt and Ray Ban's holding Vic Turner's left leg? |
"Here lads", says Brian. "You know who that is?" pointing at the central figure on the book cover.
"Yeh, that's Vic Turner being carried out of the 'Ville." pipes up JJ.
"Here Pep," invites in Brian. "Do you recall when that was?"
"Yes it was 1972", replies Pepe, beginning to wonder where this is going.
"Correct, me old mate", Brian says. "Now, do you see that good looking young lad who's carrying Vic?"
Quizzically they look at the book cover, then they sheepishly look at Brian.
"Only been around the fucking trade union movement for five minutes?" laughed Brian and leaving the two of them with their gobs wide open.
It was a classic. One of the few times I'd advise people to judge a book by its cover.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Tags