Friday, 6 November 2015

I love the sound of breaking glass

Pop, crack, tinkle. The noise of me having a leak in the White Horse pub on Brixton Hill. Went for a couple of wet ones with a departing workplace colleague. My colleague, Anna, qualified as a full blown British Sign Language Interpreter this summer; recently she succeeded in finding a job in her chosen field. Well done Anna. The BSLI’s gain is our loss.

With a neurogenic bladder it doesn’t take long before the call of the loo comes. It didn’t help with me drinking a triple espresso and a strong Americano coffees earlier in the day.

(Note to self: avoid coffee on days you’re going for a beer. Reminder to self: remember to look at this Blog on days you’re going for a beer.)

We used the pub because I knew they had an ‘accessible’ toilet. However, on arriving at the WC armed with my Radar key I noticed a large beer keg gas bottle. This wasn’t a problem for me as it stood to one side of the toilet bowl. Opening the door wider I noticed boxes stacked at the back of the toilet. Around 16 boxes of GLASSES!

Having locked the door, had a pee and arranged myself back in my wheelchair I began a 33 point turn. As I began reversing I heard; POP! Followed by CRACK! Followed by TINKLE! With each manoeuvre the same riff.

When I told the bar worker she looked aghast. She apologised before asking whether there were any breakages to which I informed her in the affirmative.

Who the fuck leaves glasses in an adapted toilet? Mops, cleaning paraphernalia, spare chairs and Christmas trees I can kind of see how people pub people would abuse adapted toilets this way. But glasses?

What’s the strangest thing with which you’ve shared an adapted toilet?

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