For years I have been reluctant to travel by train. There are two main reasons for me avoiding our railway system, with a host of lesser ones with which I will save for boring you with for another day.
My first reason is the unreliability of toilets on trains. All too often I board a train to find, before departure, that the toilet is out of order. No choice but to wait for the next train. Or I discover when I try to use the loo during the journey that due to a fault it has been locked-off by the train manager.
As I have a neurogenic bladder, I am prone to pee as frequently as every 50 minutes. Though I have been known to hold out for 80 minutes. Therefore, any journey in excess of an hour I tend to take by car.
At least in the car I am able, if necessary, to pee in a bottle. Not so easy in a crowded railway carriage, especially with the train lurching along.
The second reason is the ignorance of other passengers. Every time I use a train I spend my time beseeching other passengers not to place luggage or buggies in the space close to the door (the space that has a wheelchair symbol requesting people not to block). The reason I'm insistent on this is that the space in question allows me to move in and out of the carriage. Yes, you guessed it, to use the loo.
Other passengers can be real wankers when it comes to their right to park up three suitcases, a couple of round-the-world ruck-sacks, beautifully designed and engineered buggies that don't fold but are the size of a Mini Clubman and the kitchen sink in the space that allows me freedom of movement.
"Oh, don't worry. Give me a call if you need the cases moved. I'm over there, see half way up the carriage." explained one particularly twatish twat.
"Oh OK, I'll just levitate along the carriage to let you know when I need a pee...you Fuckwit!" I reply.
And the twat accused me of being unreasonable. Had he been within striking distance of one of my detachable footplates, I would have shown him exactly how unreasonable I can get when bursting for a pee.
My first reason is the unreliability of toilets on trains. All too often I board a train to find, before departure, that the toilet is out of order. No choice but to wait for the next train. Or I discover when I try to use the loo during the journey that due to a fault it has been locked-off by the train manager.
As I have a neurogenic bladder, I am prone to pee as frequently as every 50 minutes. Though I have been known to hold out for 80 minutes. Therefore, any journey in excess of an hour I tend to take by car.
At least in the car I am able, if necessary, to pee in a bottle. Not so easy in a crowded railway carriage, especially with the train lurching along.
The second reason is the ignorance of other passengers. Every time I use a train I spend my time beseeching other passengers not to place luggage or buggies in the space close to the door (the space that has a wheelchair symbol requesting people not to block). The reason I'm insistent on this is that the space in question allows me to move in and out of the carriage. Yes, you guessed it, to use the loo.
Other passengers can be real wankers when it comes to their right to park up three suitcases, a couple of round-the-world ruck-sacks, beautifully designed and engineered buggies that don't fold but are the size of a Mini Clubman and the kitchen sink in the space that allows me freedom of movement.
"Oh, don't worry. Give me a call if you need the cases moved. I'm over there, see half way up the carriage." explained one particularly twatish twat.
"Oh OK, I'll just levitate along the carriage to let you know when I need a pee...you Fuckwit!" I reply.
And the twat accused me of being unreasonable. Had he been within striking distance of one of my detachable footplates, I would have shown him exactly how unreasonable I can get when bursting for a pee.
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