A work mate asked how my diet was going; and wondered how much I'd lost:
"What have I lost?" I roared!
Going purple in the face I blustered:
"I've lost the fucking will to live! I've lost my temper more times than my suspect blood pressure can handle! I lost all my dignity as I sit at my desk wailing about how hungry I was! I've lost any respect I might have tenuously clung onto in the workplace!"
"But", I finished "to make things worse, I don't think I've lost a fucking single pound!"
"Other than that, I feel great!"