“She was also seen using...the swimming pool.”

“She was also seen using...the swimming pool.” So concluded a report on a woman charged with disability benefit fraud.

Well, that did it for me. It’s selfish people like this woman, having the temerity to pretend to be disabled; but not content with this subterfuge she then has the audacity to compound the situation by going swimming.

Disabled people making out, somehow or other, that they can use the properties of water that almost render the swimmer weightless, thus allowing greater freedom and movement of otherwise rigid and weak limbs...blah, blah, blah.

This is a blatant abuse of what is after all a commonly used public resource. Can we expect this class of people to intrude into our everyday lives? What next? They’ll be shopping, making out as though supermarkets can really in any meaningful way cater for their, well let’s be honest, strange needs.

This is truly thin end of the wedge territory we’re getting into here. Why, they’ll probably come up with some excuse next as to why they should be allowed to drive by themselves. The very idea of one of these people let loose on our highways.

Goodness, the very notion has made me come across unnecessary. At this rate I’ll have to book myself a course of treatment at my local flotation tank centre; at least I’ll be safe from these disabled types there...they don’t float as well, do they?